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90 search results found for "religion|god|jesus".

#48:The Onion: "God Makes Surprise Visit To Local Church" http://bit.ly/ugVNX - Nothing so disrupts religion!
— Tue Apr 28 2009 05:58 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#80:Common addictions: drugs, alcohol, cigs, caffeine, TV, video games, music, shopping, sports, sex, porn, religion, travel, food, love...
— Fri May 01 2009 22:35 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#109:The rules of life come from life itself, from what you see and experience. You don't need a god to tell you what works and what doesn't.
— Tue May 05 2009 15:26 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#171:Thank God for delusional thinking, bad planning, alcohol and failed condoms. Without them, there might be no mothers.
— Sun May 10 2009 14:05 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#218:Religion, like other addictions, is the enemy of self-responsibility.
— Fri May 15 2009 21:15 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#302:The philosophy of EXISTENTIALISM says the answers to life's questions come from life itself, not from any outside authority (God, etc.)
— Thu May 21 2009 20:03 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#310:Will there be a reward in Heaven? Don't count on it. You do good on this planet because it makes sense, not because of what God might do.
— Thu May 21 2009 20:21 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#318:So where did life come from? Did God make it? I don't know, but it's irrelevant. All that matters is what you do, what you choose.
- #existentialism — Thu May 21 2009 21:02 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#378:I'm enjoying my first-ever gay nightclub (in Reno). Actually my first-ever NIGHTCLUB! Thank God I brought my handy-dandy foam earplugs!
— Sun May 24 2009 05:44 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#407:The law is a religion like any other, with its blind assumptions. If you're a lawyer, you have to believe, because you're a priest.
— Wed May 27 2009 01:53 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#417:Atheists are boring. LA Times http://bit.ly/fRApW - "atheists are intent on proving that God not only doesn't exist but is evil to boot."
— Wed May 27 2009 13:41 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#449:What happened to the gold tablets written in Reformed Egyptian after Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon from them? God took em back!
— Sun May 31 2009 03:39 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#452:If you're starting a new religion, the best thing that can happen is to be persecuted. You can play the victim for millennia!
— Sun May 31 2009 13:50 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#453:Paranoia is essential to sustaining any religion. There has to be the sense that the rest of the world is out to get us.
— Sun May 31 2009 14:01 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#485:I love being cornered by Mormon missionaries or Jehovah's Witnesses. I start preaching to them, and soon THEY'RE squirming to get away!
- #religion — Wed Jun 03 2009 21:02 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#498:Religion is not real morality but a fake substitute. It means you don't have the courage to make your own moral choices.
— Thu Jun 04 2009 12:26 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#516:When people don't have adequate witnesses, they invent them. God is one. Conspiracies are another.
— Fri Jun 05 2009 13:39 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#652:Thank God for the breeders, people willing to put their lives on hold for 20 years to propagate our species. Without them where would we be?
— Sat Jun 13 2009 06:18 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#769:Music isn't just music. It's our worldwide religion!
— Sun Jun 21 2009 19:11 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#820:When Satan comes to Earth, he usually appears as a man of God.
— Sat Jun 27 2009 15:13 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#884:"Self-Proclaimed Prophet Blames God" for sex charges (Las Vegas) http://bit.ly/10sBmQ - Just your run-of-the-mill neighborhood cult leader.
— Tue Jul 07 2009 17:42 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#895:In fundamentalist religion, what is billed as "trust in God" is really just trust in the word of other people.
— Thu Jul 09 2009 15:08 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#924:So Jesus was born of the Virgin Mary, but Mary was married to Joseph. Does that mean married people didn't have sex back then?
— Sun Jul 12 2009 22:57 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#971:Religion is just another way of saying, "I am not responsible for what happens to me."
— Wed Jul 22 2009 02:55 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1024:It can be a great ego boost to know you chose the right religion and that God loves you the best. Lucky you!
— Tue Jul 28 2009 19:30 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1339:Why do we have to say, "God Bless America" -- or God Bless anything? Doesn't He know what to do without our advice?
— Fri Aug 28 2009 12:24 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1403:The biggest cosmic joke of all would be that there is a God but He doesn't give a shit about you.
— Sat Sep 05 2009 11:17 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1450:If you think you need religion to make sense of your life, so be it. Just don't go around thinking you're God's chosen one.
— Tue Sep 22 2009 05:36 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1476:The biggest cosmic joke of all would be that there is a God but He isn't listening to your prayers and couldn't care less about you.
— Sat Sep 26 2009 14:20 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1524:If you trust in God and human authority, you're going to be blindsided by the world because you didn't understand what was really going on.
— Wed Oct 07 2009 08:20 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1561:Religion sucks! There's nothing like a visit to Jerusalem - the crossroads of religion - to renew my faith in the stupidity of ALL of them!
— Thu Oct 22 2009 22:49 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1568:All religions require an enemy to keep faith alive. Muslims and Jews need each other, and Christians never forget being thrown to the lions.
— Sun Oct 25 2009 13:29 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1609:New photo album: Jesus Christ is Lord Travel Center, Amarillo, Texas. http://bit.ly/4ijpNz
— Sat Oct 31 2009 18:28 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1649:The root of religion isn't so much faith in God but faith that other people know more about God than you do.
— Fri Nov 06 2009 13:17 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1722:Here's today's script: You're thankful for X, Y & Z. You pray for our troops overseas. You say "God Bless America!" Now eat.
— Thu Nov 26 2009 18:53 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1728:Americans like to thank God for the things they stole from others. It's much easier than thanking, say, the Native Americans.
— Fri Nov 27 2009 02:09 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1729:People credit God for their good fortune so they don't have to think about who they hurt to obtain it.
— Fri Nov 27 2009 02:21 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#1958:The only difference between a "cult" and a "religion" is how long it has been practiced.
— Mon Jan 11 2010 09:25 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2069:People who believe that God is with them usually get themselves into god-awful messes.
— Sat Jan 23 2010 19:59 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2070:Religion is one opiate of the masses. Another is humor.
— Sat Jan 23 2010 21:53 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2091:A godsend to obsessive-compulsives: the automatic toilet seat cover! http://bit.ly/7PCAtd - Seen at O'Hare Airport.
— Mon Jan 25 2010 14:51 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2196:If you're Christian and you sin, but you repent later, God will forgive you. Doesn't this give you permission to sin right now?
— Thu Feb 04 2010 16:13 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2236:Thank God for breeders! Without them, our species would have perished long ago. Now, how do we get them to stop?
— Sun Feb 07 2010 17:41 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2287:Religion is the place you turn when you have given up trying to solve your own problems.
— Wed Feb 10 2010 19:04 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2335:It seems presumptuous to say "God Bless America" or "God Save the Queen". Shouldn't He already know what to do without your advice?
— Sat Feb 13 2010 21:09 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2347:Consumers assume that something sealed in a pretty plastic package is somehow pure, but some god-awful things can come in those packages.
— Sun Feb 14 2010 18:18 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2368:Religion, like other addictions, is the enemy of self-responsibility.
— Mon Feb 15 2010 05:30 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2388:Oxymoron alert: "Christian existentialism" (The core idea of existentialism is that you don't need a God to tell you what to do.)
— Tue Feb 16 2010 11:55 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2399:In Florida, live-tweeting alligator biting off my arm. Guess what guys?! I have a new tweeting hand! (Thank God it didn't get my B'berry!)
— Wed Feb 17 2010 08:34 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2402:If God had intended us to have more than 140 characters, He would have given us Google Buzz.
— Wed Feb 17 2010 11:18 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2434:Sex is another religion. People want absolutes, and sex seems universal. Faith works until the urge fades and they panic. Viagra!
— Fri Feb 19 2010 12:05 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2436:When you want your senses dulled and escape from responsibility for your current problems, religion is there for you.
— Fri Feb 19 2010 12:46 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2437:Religion is the alcohol of the heavens.
— Fri Feb 19 2010 12:47 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2440:Doesn't it seem a little presumptuous to pray to God and ask him to do stuff? Shouldn't He know the right thing to do without our advice?
— Fri Feb 19 2010 22:58 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2484:Photo: "Jesus and the 12 Disciples" http://bit.ly/9NhSKd - Taken today along Interstate 80 in Wyoming.
— Wed Feb 24 2010 06:22 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2574:You never want to marry someone who worships you as a god, because your powers of rescue will never match their expectations of it.
— Sun Feb 28 2010 13:29 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2656:I don't believe in God but act like I do. It's the best of both worlds!
— Sat Mar 06 2010 15:46 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2692:Religion isn't just a belief in God but in certain social policies, taken on faith, that limit the ways you can solve your problems.
— Tue Mar 09 2010 13:58 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2708:God was invented to serve the ego of man.
— Wed Mar 10 2010 15:34 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2771:Now in Amarillo passing the Jesus Christ Is Lord truck stop. Photos from 2009: http://roamingphotos.com/a?jesus
— Sat Mar 13 2010 14:59 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2788:The primary function of religion is to make you feel comfortable with the decisions you have already made.
— Sun Mar 14 2010 17:10 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2795:Atheism itself is a religion, based on assumptions taken on faith. How do you know there's no God? Agnostic is better: We just don't know.
— Mon Mar 15 2010 02:12 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2804:@YouGoChavez "I respectfully disagree... atheism is not religion, it is the antithesis to religion." So how do you prove there is no God?
— Mon Mar 15 2010 19:32 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2868:God is a crutch for people who have nothing else to go on.
— Mon Mar 29 2010 03:13 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2896:Let us honor the Ancient Ones, our elders who came upon this land and built great monuments to the gods of Fast Food and Retail Sales.
— Sat Apr 03 2010 13:13 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2924:My mom/dad/country/religion is the best one in the whole world! One of the great traumas in life is discovering it ain't so.
— Tue Apr 06 2010 14:06 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#2956:I've learned to stop being angry when Facebook "fixes" things that weren't broken, thereby breaking more things. You have to trust in God!
— Sun Apr 25 2010 11:06 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3046:Ain't it amazing how the religion you were born into just happens to be the right one. That's the magic of faith!
— Mon May 24 2010 17:51 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3068:The trouble with being God is that when people start having faith in You, they stop taking responsibility for their own problems.
— Fri May 28 2010 11:49 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3085:Macintoshism — a religion that contends you can change the world merely by choice of computers. Believers willing to endure great hardship.
— Mon May 31 2010 12:42 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3092:The function of religion is to give false meaning to those without the courage to change.
— Wed Jun 02 2010 06:54 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3105:The biggest cosmic joke of all would be that God exists but He couldn't care less about us. We would be alone after all!
— Sat Jun 05 2010 00:27 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3106:The ants must see us as gods. They can't fathom why we step on them, but they must figure it's part of our cosmic plan.
— Sat Jun 05 2010 00:55 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3214:The trouble with being a god or superhero is that people will eventually expect more of you than you're capable of.
— Mon Jun 21 2010 15:36 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3270:Catholic Church — cult known for its inquisitions, crusades, breeding of pedophiles and opposition to birth control, all in the name of God.
— Wed Jun 30 2010 15:35 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3271:The only difference between a "cult" and a "religion" is the number of members.
— Wed Jun 30 2010 15:37 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3276:"Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does, the better." - Andréide via @tweetsayings
— Thu Jul 01 2010 15:39 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3281:Only those without morality need a God to give it to them.
— Fri Jul 02 2010 01:31 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3326:If God hadn't given us religion, man would have made it up. Lucky we got God's version. Now, God, which religion is the best. Ours, right?
— Tue Jul 13 2010 18:46 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3341:Elvis, we love you! You were a pathetic wretch when alive, but now that you're dead, you're our god! (Best career move he ever made.)
— Wed Jul 14 2010 02:04 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3365:The world's most arrogant position is, "My religion is right for you."
— Fri Jul 16 2010 08:52 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3407:The opposite of religion is not atheism but existentialism, the theory that all meaning derives from what you can see and experience.
— Sun Jul 25 2010 18:46 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3417:The most important responsibility of gods and aliens is to not give people false hope. The locals have to work things out for themselves.
— Fri Jul 30 2010 03:22 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3425:Religion is what you need when your life is going nowhere due to your own bad decisions, because it's easier than change.
— Sat Aug 07 2010 01:21 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3620:If you mess with Elvis, you're messing with people's religion.
— Fri Aug 27 2010 11:33 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3684:Other Christians need to cut Mormons a break. Their religion isn't any more absurd than yours, just more efficient.
— Wed Sep 01 2010 02:47 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3712:Rule #1 of starting your own religion: Do it thousands of years ago. That way all the evidence is lost except what your followers convey.
— Sat Sep 04 2010 21:09 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3734:Law is not something perfect and pure handed down by God. It is a flawed set of rules... (One of my better essays:) http://j.mp/akktLV
— Tue Sep 07 2010 21:26 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3757:Religion. Simple answers for those who can't bear to leave childhood behind.
— Thu Sep 09 2010 21:29 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar
#3787:Religion is the ultimate refuge of the narcissist: "God is there for ME."
— Sun Sep 12 2010 17:49 GMT — view/retweet - FavStar

90 search results found for "religion|god|jesus". Archive last updated: 24935834245 GMT
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